Me: Oh Judith Butler Fennec Fox! Why is this chapter giving me so much trouble? Why can't i distill my arguement?

JBFF: I'm busy

Me: ....

JBFF: Oh stop giving me that look, human. Fine, you are having trouble because your argument is basic at this point and closely resembles a lot of previous research. You need to spell out what has been done about rejecting the master narrative in that research and then frame your argument based on the medium of vlogging and you that slightly changes and adds to the scholarly conversation.

Me: Thanks! That really helps. i love you Judith Butler Fennec Fox!

M: It’s the ghost of Emmanuel Levinas in the guise of a gentleman porcupine here to have tea with me! So I’ve been reading your work and I have some questions for you.
EL: Good, that’s what I’m here for.
M: What is the face to face interaction?
EL: The face to face interaction is a way to talk about interaction between the self and other that is based on justice, not knowledge. In fact, I argue that ethics and justice is the primary concern of philosophy, not the acquisition of knowledge.
M: Why is that?
EL: Because, before language - a tricky spot to work in, but here we go – the self understands the world as a “system of nourishments” – objects to be used and known that support my survival in the world. Heidegger – nazi bastard- talks about the world being made of tools, but I think that’s hogwash. Where were we?
M: The self in the world..
EL: Ah, yes. So the self is in the world and suddenly here comes the Other who is not an object or nourishment but another being and is completely exterior to my understanding and represents complete “alterity.” I can turn him into an object to be known but that will destroy the relationship we have set up, see? Then we will no longer be self and other but a unified whole – a totality
M: Aaah! Is that what you mean by totality?
EL: Yes. More tea?
M: Thank you. So if that’s what you mean by totality, what is its relationship to infinity?
EL: Ahh, infinity, my favorite subject. See here is where we get to talk about time. You didn’t think you were going to be talking about time did you?
M: No. Actually, I get bored by philosophies of time.
EL: Give me a moment to change you mind. The infinite, which I sometimes capitalize, is being outside of time, right? No beginning or end – just being. Sometimes I call it the “il y a” or “there is” meaning that even when there is nothing something still exists.
M: Because we say that “there is” nothing.
EL: Right. You are a good student. But the infinite without time is very boring – nothing happens, because in order for something to happen you have to have time. So, there is this infinite state of existing out of which an existent (that’s the self) comes into being.
M: How? Why?
EL: Next question.
M: No, seriously, why?
EL: I don’t know and I’m not interested in that. We have time and consciousness and that’s what we’re working with.
M: Okay, I guess.
EL: Good! Moving on. So now we have the self and consciousness and the present time! I call this “hypostasis” because I like fancy words. So now we have the self existing, enjoying things, and living in the “light” which is everything it can understand and know completely – which is also the present time.
M: Huh?
EL: See, the future is in the dark; it’s completely unknown. Because even though we talk about time linearly, we only ever experience time in the present. So, the future is that which is entirely unknowable, entirely exterior, and other. It is also the place where death exists – death is another “mystery.”
M: So the other person and the future and death are all things that are radically exterior to the subject.
EL: Yes! But the other is not a thing, remember? It is another existent. It lives in the world with the self and something interesting happens when they meet.
M: My advisor told me to stay away from the word “interesting.”
EL: Good advice. But it’s still interesting.
M: So what happens when they meet?
EL: This is the face to face relationship. Rather than seeing the other as something like myself – the other is alterity itself. In the approach of the other, the self is called to be responsible for the other.
M: Wait, wait..
EL: Note the construction there, the self is called; the self is passive, just like death and the future the other is something you cannot get away from. You are “held hostage” by this other in front of you. The relationship is “asynchronous” because the other has more power than you do (but be careful with power because I also say that the face to face has nothing to do with power as we think of it).
M: Okay.. I get that part. Where does responsibility come in?
EL: Well, let me tell you more about this other first. The other is “what I myself am not.”
M: Alterity.
EL: Yes, “the other is the weak, the poor, the widow and the orphan”
M: But what about the widows who are reading your book?
EL: And the “feminine.”
M: You’re shitting me. Seriously?
EL: Well, I am a product of my time.
M:
EL: And I do say that femininity is a position not something natural connected to a type of body.
M: Still, you waited until now to spring this sexual difference thing on me. I was really excited about your ideas.
EL: We can talk more about feminist approaches to my work later. Can we get back to the self’s responsibility to the other?
M: I guess, but I’m not happy with you right now.
EL: Women!
M: I’m going to punch you.
EL: Er, let’s move on. That about sums up Time and the Other, but in later work I dig into responsibility and ethics. So, the need to respond to the other’s command comes from seeing the vulnerability and precariousness of the other and realizing that without my help the other will die. That means that I will be responsible no matter what – if the other dies or not.
M: Um..
EL: Let me put it another way, even before language and religion and reason and law and anything telling you to treat this person ethically the other commands “thou shalt not kill” by their presence alone. And you can ignore that command, but you can never unheard it. You will always be responsible, always guilty; it is part of “the shame of surviving.”
M: Wow. Wait, I am guilty?
EL: this is before language and reason, you don’t get to decide anything. You are a hostage remember?
M: Wow. And this is all in the face?
EL: Yes and no. It’s the face – but the face may be some other body part – necks, backs, soundless voices. The face is unique and universal at the same time.
M: Really? Wow.
EL: “The face is the extreme precariousness of the other.”
M: So, why don’t I hear this call a thousand times a day?
EL: You should.
M: Why do I hear it when I look at Youtube videos and not when I watch reality tv?
EL: That’s your job to figure out but I would guess that it has something to do with vulnerability and precariousness.
M: Right.
EL: Have some more tea and then go finish your proposal.
M: Thanks.

Feeling frustrated and stuck!  Stoopid thesis!

I'm a Cute with Chris fan. It's the best Canadian snarky cat lady video blog in the world.  Today is International Feel Sorry for Yourself Day or IFSFYD.  Today, I don't feel that sorry for myself.  But maybe I will check in later with some whining appropriate for the occasion.

The video blog for the occasion is here.

O Hai!

I'm thinking in academic lolcats these days.  I made these for friends (first in cartoon form) and then for realz online.  They are floating about in the voting pool for icanhascheezburger.  Something about that gives me a delicious thrill. 




This is my thesis in lolcat form:

If only writing the real thing were that easy!  I talked with Mark about adding illustration to my thesis.  he was good to talk to about research in general.  He asked what I had been working on this semester.  "Hiding out and watching reality television," I said.  He replied, "Welcome to academic research!"  we ended up talking about the internet in general and not so much about adding art to my project, but it was good to talk to him about Youtube.  It was also nice to talk to a human being.  But it reminded me of how far away from real life experiance I have drifted - and that I can only talk about my project using rediculous ten dollar theory words. 

And in ten dollar theory news, I met with my advisorbot.  It went really well.  She likes my thinking and she tried to tell me that I don't need as much fancy theory as I have.  I gave her my reading lists and she told me that I am not allowed to read anything new - except for a few articles on digital ethnography.  I have to start writing.  She actually told me that my writing is clear and so I won't have to revise for clarity - just other yet to be discovered reasons.  She also told me that i have "disertation paralysis" which most people don't get until PhD level work.  I geuss that means I'm ahead of schedule??  

I'm supposed to send her a three page project description by next friday.  we're going to break up the proposal in chunks. I felt good enough after the meeting that I did a bunch of grading yesterday and today.  I had been putting that off to think about thesis business. 

Aw nutz.  Prarie Home Companion is signing ridiculous patriotic songs... but I don't want to move my personal monorail kitteh.... meh!

Anyway...Thans to everyone for lovely comments and support.  I still feel like I want to faint when I think about doing the whole project.  (breathe...breathe...)

Did anyone watch the Girls of Hedsor Hall on MTV?  (hangs head) I did.... all of it.  This might look familar.



Thanks and lots of monkey love!

M

I get to make a lolcat!

Hello monkeys,

Thank you to everyone first off! Thank you for the advice and the support - just knowing I've got more folks on my team than I usually think I do helps so much. It's been a pretty good week.

On Teusday, after writing on here, I pulled out my Tarot cards - cause when logical means escape me, I find them really helpful. I ended up giving my roomie's boy and my roomie readings. It was great fun and I had only read for myself before that. My roomie then brought out her deck of Aurthurian Tarot cards (monkey want!) and gave me a reading. I've been thinking about it all week - it was amazing. I love it when the universe answers. Short synopsis - lots of swords, lots of court cards. First card was the Empress - so appropriate, I'm full of ideas ready to give birth to them (although the birth metaphor makes me squick a little).


Behind me- eight of swords or Guinevere at the stake. Good news, she gets out of it! Before me - eight of cups or Chapel Perilous where Gawain sees the grail but can't grasp it because of a nasty monster. My roomie liked the eight and eight thing, very balanced. Below me- ten of cups or Camelot - yay party with friends (I like that so much better than the heteronormative nooclear happy family in my deck). Above me - King of Swords or Mordred - he's an exacting, cunning guy with high standards and lots of schemes. Anyway last card is best of all -final outcome - get this, knight of swords our good buddy Gawain from Chapel Perilous! Not only is it time to stop fucking around and get to work, part of this is giving up on the grail of a perfect thesis that will please everyone and being willing to cock things up. (just like Gawain! I've always had a soft spot for him..)


Going to do a bit of free-writing now.
Monkey hugs.

M

I made an appointment for the university writing center. The form asked me to fill in what I want to work on. In response, I wrote "thesis proposal: gods above, please help me!" So, here I am.

Haven't checked in here in a long time. But no time like the present. Especially on a cloudy day with my gray kitty on my lap.

Survived the semester. i'm still in awe that for 9 months of the year I get to research and teach about internet culture, feminsm, gaming, queers, and other such radical things. Now I have to figure out what to do with my summer.

Just hear Utah Phillips died. Damn. The world is sadder place now.

Gonna go cry.

Ms S